


Quietism

by ideallyqualia



Series: Rare Pairs [63]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7017460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyqualia/pseuds/ideallyqualia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ushijima is a romantic in denial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quietism

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for kawanishi's birthday...

"You look _awful_." Tendou bent lower and eyed Kawanishi with a twist in his mouth. The sun was setting in the sky behind him, and his head eclipsed the light that remained in the shadow of the gym building.

Kawanishi continued to drink from his sports bottle, motionless in his seat on the floor.

"That's a little rude," Yamagata said.

"He doesn't look this way all the time.”

Kawanishi paused. "Do you mind?" he asked, his voice rasping.

Tendou stood back up. "Want us to move?"

Ushijima and Shirabu approached from behind Tendou, and Kawanishi's head lowered a little with a sigh.

"Is something wrong?" Ushijima asked.

Tendou rocked back on his feet. "Taichi looks sick."

"I'm not," he said with a sniffle.

Ushijima directed his gaze lower to regard Kawanishi. "You seem ill."

"I'm _not_."

The stunted, stuffy catch in his voice exaggerated on the emphasized syllable, and Tendou and Yamagata laughed under their breaths.

"You shouldn't have come to practice," Ushijima continued. "When did you get sick?"

"I'm not sick. This'll go away."

"He started sniffling an hour ago," Tendou added helpfully.

Ushijima nodded. "Practice is over, but you should stay home tomorrow if you're still sick."

"This is just allergies."

Ushijima crossed his arms. They folded loosely over his chest as he looked down, fidgeting slightly. "Regardless..."

"If it's just allergies, then you have it bad. You look sick," Tendou said.

"He might be sick and not know it yet." Shirabu glanced over Kawanishi.

"I really don't think I'm sick."

"Then worrying about you would be a waste of time if you're right," Shirabu pointed out. He turned. "I'm going inside."

Tendou gestured after Shirabu. "Hayato-kun, that was rude. Why didn't you tell him anything?"

Kawanishi got to his feet and dusted off his shorts. He followed Shirabu and walked to the gym, falling in line beside him.

Shirabu glanced at him. "You don't look terrible. Tendou-san was goading you," he said.

"I wasn't worried that he was telling the truth." Kawanishi's shoulders drooped with fatigue. "I hope we don't run outside next time."

"We're probably going to." Shirabu slipped his shoes off in front of his locker, and Kawanishi angled away to open his own.

He left the gym building and met the open night air. A mild spring wind blew, rustling the branches of trees next to the sidewalk. Kawanishi hunched with a grimace and hurried to his room through the grass. He coughed to himself, his throat and nose itching.

"Allergies?" Ushijima asked.

Kawanishi choked on his breath. His shoulders crowded his ears as he heard the drawn out, dying cough from his own voice.

He recovered and settled his shoulders. "Spring is the worst season," Kawanishi said.

The night remained quiet. Kawanishi faced away from the grass to find the silence, and Ushijima looked at him, eyes deep next to the starred sky.

"I still find it hard to believe that you're not sick," he said.

"I'm not," Kawanishi said, his voice unfolding to a slight flatness.

Ushijima maintained the same serious expression, his attention fixing and searching Kawanishi's face for some sign of illness, his mouth drawing together.

Kawanishi saw his mouth move, and he repeated, "I'm not sick."

Ushijima hesitated. "You look like you haven't rested, then."

"I slept."

The indecisiveness of Ushijima's mouth struck him, as he watched Ushijima unable to argue anything else. His breath broke into halting snorts.

Ushijima tilted his head with a questioning hum. Kawanishi began to speak to explain, and he interrupted himself with a series of sneezes.

Ushijima placed his hand on Kawanishi's back, patting him too lightly to absolve him of any coughing or choking. It slid down and rested in a warm fit to the curve of his back, and the press of Ushijima's firm hand in a paused movement made him slow.

Kawanishi's head took a dive in the image, the way Ushijima's shoulders filled out the expanse of his sweatshirt, his eyes fixed in plain curiosity. His hand radiated closeness in the contact, reaching a point just in the middle of Kawanishi's back, even after he pulled away.

"I wasn't coughing," Kawanishi said. He scratched at his ear and yawned, turning from Ushijima to head up the dorm building staircase. Ushijima's good-night rumbled quietly and faded behind him.

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi milled at the gym door to leave instead of joining the Saturday morning outside, giving Shirabu a disinterested look past the doorway.

"Are you going to wait until nighttime?" Shirabu asked.

"That wouldn't change anything."

"Until fall?"

"You're not being serious at all."

"I'm not." Shirabu leaned against the doorway.

Kawanishi started walking and strode past him, leaving him inert in his slow start back to moving.

"Kenjirou, Taichi, where're you going?" Tendou asked.

"Give us a minute to walk first," Shirabu said as he caught up to Kawanishi.

"But you'll be too far away by then."

"One minute."

"Maybe 58 seconds by now," Kawanishi added.

"No, start over."

"Do you know where you're going?" Tendou asked.

"Why are you still following? Stay one minute away," Shirabu said.

Tendou stopped walking. "What?"

"I didn't think it was possible to confuse him like that," Kawanishi muttered. He readjusted the strap of his school bag on his shoulder and glanced back. Tendou had stopped Semi and dragged him into a conversation, and Ushijima walked by them both, stepping around them without pausing. Goshiki followed him.

"Shirabu, Kawanishi," Ushijima said in greeting.

Goshiki kept walking past Ushijima and took a step to slide in front of Shirabu and Kawanishi. "I'm hungry."

"That's not how you start a conversation," Shirabu said. Shirabu ducked around him, and Kawanishi sidestepped to reconvene in front of Ushijima.

"The three of us managed to dodge Tendou. We should leave while we're ahead." Kawanishi glanced at Tendou and Semi.

"We're avoiding him?" Ushijima asked.

"It's for the best," Shirabu said.

Goshiki edged in. "They're coming this way."

Kawanishi nudged Goshiki behind them, in Tendou's way. Ushijima turned to meet Tendou and Semi.

"What were you talking about?" he asked them.

"Eita-kun doesn't want to make a wish in the fountain." Tendou pointed at the water fountain in the front of the arts building. True to its patronage, it had an artful design trimming the borders in the stone, and a small geyser sprayed water from the top. The stream of water came down to the bottom in a waterfall.

"It's not a wishing fountain or a wishing well," Semi said.

"Suddenly you're the expert," Tendou retorted with a critical look.

"There's no money in it. No one's ever thrown any in."

"Maybe it's the kind where you have to throw in a sacrifice?" Goshiki asked.

"I've _never_ heard of that before," Semi said.

Shirabu rubbed his hand against the side of his head. "I'm going home."

"Are you really leaving?" Kawanishi asked. Shirabu turned his head and met him with a bored look.

"See ya," Goshiki called after him. Ushijima waved.

"It's just a water fountain," Kawanishi told Tendou and Semi. "There's nothing more to it."

Ushijima took another look at it. "I think the local birds like it," he added.

"I don't think it was made for the birds," Semi said.

Tendou lowered his head. "Tsutomu, do you have anything you want to sacrifice?"

Goshiki deflated. "No..."

Semi glanced away. "I've spent too much time on this. I'm leaving."

Kawanishi sniffled. He coughed into his arm as Semi left, and the sound and movement drew Ushijima's attention.

"Allergies?" Ushijima asked, invoking a deep tone of his voice that managed to hit a blunt lightness, like an accidental joke.

"Allergies." Kawanishi sighed and let his head fall back.

"Does your neck hurt?"

"No." Kawanishi righted his head again. His eyes fell on Goshiki and Tendou at the fountain, with Tendou tossing a coin into the water.

Ushijima stayed silent for a few moments. "Do you want to make a wish with them?"

"It's not a wishing fountain."

"I don't think any of them are made with that goal in mind."

"Ushijima-san, are you superstitious?"

Ushijima shuffled his feet. "I don't think so."

"I'm not." Kawanishi stretched his arms up. After a pop and a satisfied groan, he lowered them. "I think I'd be offended if someone told me luck is behind everything I earn. Some things are nice to think about, though, I guess."

"Like kami?"

"Yes. Anything," Kawanishi said, "as long as it isn't what they're doing." He gestured at Tendou and Goshiki, as they negotiated and dropped rocks into the water.

"It's pointless responding to that."

Kawanishi angled away. "It's so pointless that I'm just going to leave."

"See you soon, then, Kawanishi."

"See you Monday." Kawanishi walked forward and refused to look back at Tendou and Goshiki. He could hear small splashes from the pebbles they tossed in, but he didn't need a visual.

 

* * *

 

After Ushijima mentioned it, Kawanishi noticed the sporadic groups of birds that gathered at the fountain every day, sometimes just arriving in couples. They scooped water in their beaks to drink and flicked their wings to bathe, and they did it in flashes at a time, flittering away and coming back to finish.

"I'm glad they stopped throwing rocks in the water," Ushijima said beside him from where he stood watching the fountain.

Kawanishi didn't visibly startle from his appearance, but his chest thumped with a sudden spur to self-consciousness. "They only did it once," he managed in a level voice.

"True."

Kawanishi calmed a breath of air through his nose.

"Did I scare you?"

"A little."

"Sorry."

Kawanishi waved him off. "It's fine." He directed his gaze back to the fountain. "Looking at this makes me thirsty."

"We should go to the gym and get water, then. Practice is going to start soon."

"There's still half an hour before practice," Kawanishi said, but he yielded after Ushijima's already moving feet.

The door opened to an empty locker room. Kawanishi sighed at the doorway. Ushijima tugged at his shirt, already pulling and working his shirt off as he walked toward his locker. By the time his hand landed on his locker to navigate the combination lock, he was shirtless.

Kawanishi collected his attention at his locker and stared at it for a few seconds. His hand mechanically went to the lock, and he turned it in useless loops until he came back to inhabiting his body.

He grabbed his water bottle and headed out to the court. He ended up sitting on the floor, extending his legs in a lazy and glacial stretch, looking at the wall in boredom. Ushijima came out of the locker room in practice clothes, fresh and alert, ready to spring into laps around the gym. He approached Kawanishi and sat down next to him.

"Stretching already?"

"There's nothing else to do." Kawanishi lowered his head to his leg and let his arms flop.

Ushijima sat back on the palms of his hands. The mild spring sunshine streamed through the window high in the wall, gathering in beams that warmed Kawanishi's back. It eased lethargy into his complacent muscles, and it relaxed him to the point that he didn't want to move.

He was compelled to glance up at the sound of a slight gasp. Ushijima took another drink from his sports bottle, swallowing in gulps visible in his throat. His cheeks puffed with the drink for a moment, and after he swallowed he brought his teeth to the cap.

Ushijima didn't have any noticeable habits or tics. The cap was immaculate, without any bite marks, and Kawanishi had never seen him chew his nails or fidget. He didn't _do_ things like bite his sports bottle.

"What?" Kawanishi asked.

"Hm? I'm just thinking." Ushijima idly reached for his foot and began to stretch as well, putting the bottle down to use both hands.

A few players drifted in. Kawanishi didn't bother checking the clock, so he had no idea how much time passed as he sat on the floor next to Ushijima.

Shirabu and Goshiki shuffled up to them. "Semi-san's looking for you," Shirabu said to Ushijima.

Ushijima pushed himself off the floor and stood. "I'll go find him."

Goshiki swiftly took his place beside Kawanishi. "How long've you been stretching?"

Kawanishi's arms loosened into limpness. "I don't know."

Goshiki leaned forward and mimicked him, reaching for his foot with a weak arm. Shirabu moved to balance on one leg and bent the other one behind himself.

"Do either of you know why the water fountain is full of rocks?" Shirabu asked.

Goshiki looked away, hollowly whistling.

"No idea," Kawanishi said.

 

* * *

 

Tendou tore off a piece of his bread and tossed it to the floor. "Here, I don't want this."

"Are you. Really talking to the pigeons?" Shirabu asked.

"What? I'm being nice."

Ushijima swallowed a bite of his food. "Why don't you want your red bean bun?"

"I never finish the buns. I get tired of eating them halfway."

"Don't get one next time," Shirabu said.

Kawanishi watched a couple of pigeons gather around the bread and pluck off pieces for themselves, cooing and flapping at Tendou's feet. Ushijima's head dipped down to witness them in their noisy mess, and after a slight hesitation, he took a chunk off his sandwich and crouched to place it on the floor. A few pigeons shifted directions and clustered to his food.

Ushijima stood back up in a smooth motion. He caught Kawanishi and Shirabu's eyes, and he responded with a defensive quickness, "They looked hungry."

"If we keep feeding them, then they'll keep coming." Shirabu bit into his takoyaki and silenced himself.

"Once, I dropped an egg, and a horde of seagulls flew in out of nowhere. They came in and wouldn't stop flying in a tornado around me and the egg." Tendou clapped his hands free of bread crumbs and made a spinning motion to emulate the seagulls.

"What kind of egg? Hard boiled?" Kawanishi asked.

Shirabu nudged away a piece of dirt with his foot. "Does it matter?"

"I didn't drop a deviled egg if that's what you're thinking."

"Having a deviled egg means you either know how to cook, or you came from an event that had deviled eggs, and I can't imagine either," Shirabu said.

"Have you ever had a bird attack you?" Kawanishi asked Tendou. "I'm curious."

"A goose chased me once."

"Did it have a reason?"

"It doesn't need one." Shirabu moved to take another bite of his takoyaki, his last piece.

The pigeons finished all the food and ambled around in wayward unfinished circles, stopping to peck at the floor for potential scraps. One flapped its way to the top of a bench in a hop.

"Pigeons are boring," Kawanishi said. "This feels like something city people can do."

Tendou waggled his frisbee. "You can't play frisbee in the city. That's what we're here for."

"You _can_ play frisbee in the city. With property damage." Shirabu took the frisbee from him and turned it over in his hands. "This is already damaged. There's a crack in it."

"A truck ran it over."

"Shouldn't it be completely flat?" Kawanishi asked.

Ushijima stepped closer. "It looks painful to hold."

Shirabu ran his hand over the jagged plastic edge. "It feels fine."

"Buy a new one next time, Tendou-san." Kawanishi stepped away to give himself space, and everyone else spread out to await Shirabu's frisbee toss.

Shirabu curled his arm in and flicked his wrist to throw it. It wobbled in the air and flopped down into the grass in the middle of the group.

"You're terrible at this, Kenjirou," Tendou said after a moment of incredulous silence.

"I haven't tried this in a while," Shirabu mumbled in a tired snap.

Ushijima walked forward and retrieved it. He returned to his position and aimed at Kawanishi, and it flew high over his head, sailing past the neighborhood garden behind them. Ushijima's hands remained in the air in his throw, slowly retreating to himself in an incremental cringe.

Kawanishi looked back at the group after watching it fly away. "I'm not getting that."

"Don't be lazy, Taichi."

"There're _flowers_ over there."

" _I'll_ get it," Shirabu said. He jogged around a few trees and, in the distance, they could see him bend to reach for something in the grass.

"Imagine if Wakatoshi was a setter, and Kenjirou was a spiker," Tendou entertained out loud.

"My strength would be wasted."

"He'd toss to the ceiling," Kawanishi said. "It's not even debatable that they'd both be terrible."

Shirabu threw the frisbee to Tendou as he came back. He rested his hands on his knees to recover for a breather as Tendou raised the frisbee in Kawanishi's direction.

"Step back, Taichi, you can't catch it like that."

"Don't overshoot it like Ushijima did." Kawanishi took a few steps back and raised a halfhearted arm.

It glided smoothly into his waiting hand. Kawanishi wasn't going to admit it, but Tendou was the best person here at playing frisbee. It felt like a clear toss set up for a spike.

Kawanishi wound up his arm and gave a throw. The calm breeze blew and climbed into a noticeable gust, and it steered the frisbee into an awkward angle, sending into an upward, sideways tilt into a tree.

Kawanishi dropped his hands. "I haven't been able to throw it at all."

Everyone came closer and stood under the tree to see the frisbee in the branches. None of them could jump to that height.

"Someone has to climb up and get it," Kawanishi said.

"Can't we just...shake the tree?" Shirabu asked.

Tendou waved his arm and patted the tree bark. "Oh! It's like animal crossing!"

Ushijima held his arms out to gauge the tree width. "This tree is a bit too big for that."

"We can throw a volleyball up at the frisbee and set it loose," Tendou suggested.

"We don't have a volleyball," Shirabu said. "Someone has to climb and get it."

"I think you should go, Kenjirou. You're small and nimble."

"I'm scared of heights," Shirabu said flatly.

"That didn't sound honest."

"I'm going to sit down and wait." Kawanishi took a place on the grass and bent his knees to rest his arms.

"I'm too big for the tree branches. I'll wait with you." Ushijima cleared his throat and settled into the grass. He drew his hand over his arm and absentmindedly rubbed as they watched Tendou and Shirabu argue over the frisbee.

Kawanishi's eyes flicked to Ushijima's arm. "Do you have any habits, Ushijima-san?"

"No."

Kawanishi reassigned his attention to Ushijima's face, fixing him with a heavier look. "You won't stop rubbing your arm."

Ushijima moved his hand away and crossed his arms. He looked ahead seriously. "That's not a habit."

Kawanishi scratched at his head and glanced up at the sky. The clouds hung framed in the sky around the sun, but if he stared long enough, he could pick out wisps of cloud moving, slightly.

"Do you have any habits?" Ushijima asked.

"I can't remember off the top of my head."

"What do you think about, then?"

Kawanishi turned. "What?"

"What do you think about?" Ushijima repeated.

"I wasn't..." Kawanishi let out a breath, staring at Ushijima with resignation slow in his eyes. "I don't know. Food? Volleyball? I think about what I think about."

Ushijima's head leaned to the side, rocking slightly with a gentle blink. A small thump thudded on the grass in front of them, and Shirabu's loud sigh made them both look up. Tendou sat in the grass, his balance nearly lost to the momentum of falling backward. A thick branch still swayed above them.

"We can't get it. It's too high," Shirabu said. "Any higher, and it'd be dangerous."

"We can live without it." Ushijima stood and dusted dirt and grass off his legs. Kawanishi followed him in a lazy thoughtful daze, clapping leaves off himself and glancing around hollowly, unfocused on the conversation.

"What should we do now?" Tendou asked. He stretched his ams behind his head until a cracking pop sounded in the air.

"Go home."

"...Kenjirou, how do you ever get anything done?"

"By going home."

"That's not what I meant."

"If one of us had a dog to bring here, we could walk them," Ushijima said. His head angled to the sidewalk, in the direction of a passing dog on a leash.

"I'm getting tired. I think I'll head home for the day." Kawanishi hung his hand in a loose-hinged wave.

"I'll go, too," Shirabu said.

Tendou grumbled, but Ushijima returned Kawanishi's gesture with a small wave. "I'll stay with Tendou. See you tomorrow, Kawanishi, Shirabu."

Kawanishi walked away beside Shirabu and dragged his hand over his shoulder, rubbing idly and looking down at the bushes next to the sidewalk. He sniffled a little and cleared his throat.

"Getting sick?" Shirabu asked.

"Don't."

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi stepped out of the class building with a guarded squint into the afternoon sun's glare. He was still exhausted from practice the night before, but today was a day off, and he already felt relief unlocking the tension in his legs and back.

He continued along the path through the grass and approached the fountain again. Ushijima sat on the edge of the rock with his head turned to the water, calm and quiet, his hand hovering over the water surface.

"Ushijima?" Kawanishi asked.

Ushijima glanced at him and returned to the water again with a look of hesitation. "Someone left a bottle in the fountain. I think it's trash, but..."

Kawanishi bent closer. A glass bottle floated in the water, dipping in small gentle waves with the soft breeze blowing over them. A folded piece of paper flashed inside against the glint of glass turning in the sun.

"It looks like...someone left a message in a bottle." Kawanishi flicked the top of the bottle, and it swung back and forth, sending ripples through the water.

"Why would someone do that? Isn't it trash?"

"I don't think they meant for it to be trash." Kawanishi sighed. "I don't know why people do it. I think it's for making wishes or just sending notes to strangers. It has mysterious appeal, I guess."

"It doesn't sound mysterious or appealing."

"I didn't say I agree." Kawanishi flicked it again. "It's supposed to be done at the beach."

"But then it ends up in the ocean as trash."

"Like I said, I didn't say I agree." Kawanishi glanced at him and closed his mouth from the discussion. Ushijima's mild rendered horror, his eyes fixing on the water, left Kawanishi wordless in a snort.

"You understand this fairly well."

"I don't understand at all." Kawanishi's head lifted at the sound of footsteps, and Shirabu joined them.

"What are you doing, Ushijima-san? You don't usually sit idle like that."

"Someone left a bottle in the fountain. He thought it was trash," Kawanishi explained.

Shirabu's mouth remained in a thin line. "Did _Goshiki_ leave that in there?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." Kawanishi's gaze shifted.

"What did he wish for?" Shirabu reached for it.

Ushijima's arm intercepted him, his face serious as he slid into Shirabu's way. "I don't think we should read it. Reading his honest feelings is like reading his mind."

"He was too lazy to drop it into the ocean. I don't think he cares." Shirabu maneuvered around him and picked it up. He wrenched the top off, and Ushijima moved back, his hands clasping together on his knees.

The note unfolded to a crumbled piece of paper, and Shirabu read, "Goshiki."

"What?" Kawanishi asked.

Shirabu lowered it. "That's all it says. Goshiki. In his own handwriting."

Ushijima slid in his seat, relaxed and satisfied with the answer. Kawanishi pulled the paper out of Shirabu's hand.

"It really does say his name and nothing else." Kawanishi tucked it back into the bottle, and he plunked it into the fountain. "That's disappointing."

"It's an answer you both deserve," Ushijima said.

"I didn't _want_ it to be opened." Kawanishi took a seat next to Ushijima with an eye on him. "He's right, though. You don't usually sit down and do nothing. Don't you have anything to do today?"

"I've been sitting here for twenty minutes. That's an insubstantial amount of time." Ushijima sat back on his hands. "Today is our day off from practice. Are you two resting properly?"

"What does 'proper rest' mean? Resting isn't supposed to be boring." Shirabu took the bottle back out of the water. "I'm throwing this out."

"It should be recycled," Ushijima said.

"Fine." Shirabu let his arm drop. "I'll go recycle it."

Kawanishi and Ushijima didn't move as they watched Shirabu fade into a vague shape in the distance. After he turned a corner, he disappeared completely.

Ushijima shifted. "You're still coughing here and there."

"No I'm not."

"You coughed a minute ago."

"No I didn't."

"Are you--"

"I'm not sick," Kawanishi grumbled.

"It's a good thing today is our day off. I'd like you to rest."

"I _am_ resting."

Ushijima's attention returned to the water in the fountain. His reflection shimmered and wobbled in the calm free surface now that the bottle was gone. He looked pulled into the scene, focused with the likeness of an ocean facing the water.

He was so occupied that he didn't notice Kawanishi staring at him. Kawanishi didn't fall into the realization that he was looking; it came in a subtle stroke of consciousness after it, like a delayed reaction to an instinct, embarrassingly natural.

Ushijima's head lifted. "Kawanishi?"

"Uh." Kawanishi brought himself to look at a tree, away from him. "Sorry, I zoned out."

Ushijima's head tilted, his eyebrows creasing. "Looking at me?"

"You were in the way." Kawanishi stretched his legs out and dropped his feet on the concrete.

Ushijima returned to the water, his body at a slight angle toward Kawanishi on its way to facing the fountain. His hand skimmed the water's surface in an experimental graze, and when he pulled away, his hand dripped droplets.

He wiped his hand on his pants and stood. "I've spent enough time here. I'm going home."

Kawanishi looked ahead. "Shirabu isn't back yet."

"You can wait for him."

"I don't want to." Kawanishi got up and joined Ushijima. "I have homework to do."

Ushijima hesitated toward the fountain, but Kawanishi began walking away, and he gave in and left.

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi sat beside Ushijima, arms crossed, his eyes dull and unfocused on Goshiki, Tendou, and Shirabu standing in front of the fountain.

"Shirabu-san, what would you wish for?" Goshiki asked.

"I wouldn't."

"I wouldn't wish for anything, either," Ushijima said.

Tendou turned to him. "You don't wish on shooting stars? Birthday candles? ...Shrines?"

"I visit shrines occasionally."

"Wakatoshi, someone needs to teach you how to have _fun_." Tendou swiveled to Shirabu, his mouth stretching into a grin.

Kawanishi had a brief glimpse of Shirabu's wide shocked face before he tumbled into the fountain from Tendou's push. The flailing splashes landed on Kawanishi and Ushijima's clothes, and the sudden dampness made them both stand. Half of Kawanishi's shirt and pants leg were wet.

Ushijima leaned over the edge and helped Shirabu up. "Are you alright?"

Shirabu glared back at him, his hair streaked flat over the sides of his dripping head. He redirected his glare to Tendou as he reached for Ushijima's hand to stand. "What. Was that for."

"Wakatoshi was supposed to laugh at that."

Ushijima met him with a neutral expression. "Why?"

"It's _funny._ Look at Kenjirou. He's like a wet dog." Tendou gestured over Shirabu.

He stepped out of the fountain and jiggled his legs. Water continued to flick around as he stretched his hands to squeeze his sleeves and wring them dry.

"Push someone else next time," Shirabu muttered.

Tendou's head dipped to the side, his eyes advancing to Kawanishi.

"You already pushed someone in," Kawanishi said without energy.

"I'd rather you stop, Tendou." Ushijima patted over his clothes and inspected them. He glanced at Kawanishi. "Are you wet, Kawanishi?"

"I'll live."

Ushijima sat back down. Shirabu's hands rifled over his head, messing his hair into uneven clumps.

"You're making it worse, Kenjirou."

" _It's your fault_."

Goshiki took a seat next to Ushijima. "What do you do for fun, then, Ushijima-senpai?"

"Aside from volleyball," Kawanishi interrupted, cutting off Ushijima's answer. Ushijima reconsidered.

"Gardening. Resting. Running."

"I still don't know what your version of 'rest' is," Kawanishi said.

Ushijima gathered his hands in a loose clasp in his lap. "This is resting."

"Resting is watching TV." Tendou flapped his hand. "Not sitting still, doing nothing."

Kawanishi crossed his arms. "I think that's resting."

"You're just as boring."

"You just called Ushijima-san boring," Shirabu said.

"I'm talking about Taichi."

"You're talking about them both."

"Maybe I am."

"That's not an argument."

"Why are you offended? Are you that boring too?"

"No," Shirabu said.

"You're offended."

"I'm not boring."

"That's not what I said."

"I'm going to move," Ushijima announced.

Goshiki edged closer. "I'll go, too."

Kawanishi lagged behind them, and they relocated to the grass. Goshiki rolled onto his side in the grass and splayed out. His arms and legs flopped in spread-eagle fashion, and after he settled, he didn't move. Kawanishi remained standing.

Ushijima's head tilted down to look at him. "Goshiki?"

"I'm tired," Goshiki said with a grunt.

"Oh."

"It's quieter here. I wonder if they noticed," Ushijima mused.

"By now, probably." Kawanishi rolled his head back and looked at the sky. "I'm not sitting in the grass. I'm leaving."

"That's good. You've been sniffling for the past few minutes. You should go home."

Kawanishi frowned at him. "My allergies aren't _that_ bad right now." He grumbled. "I'm leaving," he repeated.

 

* * *

 

"If you don't understand appeal of making wishes, then why do you like staring at the scenery?"

Ushijima leaned into his hand propped on his knee. "How're they the same?"

"They're both... Both kind of have a sense of idealism. Or maybe it's sentimental or poetic...?" Kawanishi trailed off. He looked at Tendou next to him on the gym bench. "What do you think? Can you help me out?"

"I'll let you flounder."

"Thanks," Kawanishi said.

Ushijima cleared his throat after he took a drink from his water bottle. "I think I understand a little more."

Tendou leaned forward in his seat, gesturing his hand for Ushijima's attention. "Either way, there's something romantic about it. Like from a movie."

" _Romance_ is not the same as what we're talking about," Kawanishi said.

"It's romantic. Kiss kiss."

"Stop."

"Most people even wish for romance." Tendou nudged closer. "Is that what's on your list, Wakatoshi?"

"Romance?"

"Yeah. What's your type?"

Kawanishi sat stiffly between them, sinking in his crossed-arm posture. Ushijima sat higher to address Tendou, and Tendou returned the action, his arm folding on top of Kawanishi's shoulder.

"Type of what?"

"Who would you date?"

Ushijima's regressing frown brought him to glance at the court, his mouth shifting to the side into an answer. "Kawanishi."

Kawanishi choked on his water.

Tendou cackled. "I didn't mean a _person_. I meant _what kind of person_. Why?" Tendou asked, his grin smug.

Shirabu stopped walking in front of them. "Break is ending in a minute. You should get up."

Tendou waved him off. "Not yet. Wakatoshi is going to tell us why he'd date Taichi."

"Yeah right."

"He did."

"Just move."

Tendou shrugged and pushed off the bench to his feet. "Let's go, Wakatoshi."

"Wait--" Kawanishi reached for them, but Tendou passed by him for the court. Ushijima glanced at him.

"Break's going to end, Kawanishi."

Kawanishi's shoulders deflated, and the momentum left him recessed in the bench until he stood up a few seconds later. "I'm moving."

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi caught Ushijima's arm outside the gym. The night air was amicable and uninstrusive in the steps outside, but at the contact, it fell close and tight, like a dark room. The wind blew cold for a moment. Ushijima looked at him curiously, and Kawanishi removed his hand.

"What is it?"

Kawanishi's breath rolled out in a heavy exhale. He blinked slowly and wrung his wrist, stalling and eyeing the back of his palm.

"You were kidding earlier, with Tendou, right?"

"Why would I lie?"

Kawanishi scratched the side of his head. "It sounded out of nowhere."

"Tendou asked."

Kawanishi's eyes averted, and then fixed back on him. "It's surprising, because. I didn't expect it. If I said I want to kiss you, would you be surprised?"

Ushijima's head turned to him, completely, his gaze solidifying from his half-finished angle. The eye contact connected like tunnel vision, or that phenomenon when the ground rushed up, but it didn't.

"I don't know if I'd be surprised or not, but it's surprising to hear." Ushijima tilted his head away from the light of a lamppost. Kawanishi couldn't read the descending shadow in his cheeks, if it was darker from the light or something else.

"It. Sounds like you're surprised." Kawanishi stepped closer. "Ushijima?"

Ushijima's head lowered to maintain eye contact as Kawanishi's approached. He shifted in place, his face softening, and it made Kawanishi shuffle his next step.

He rose a little higher on his feet on his way to Ushijima, his breathing muffled into Ushijima's mouth. He heard Ushijima sigh, and his arms came to Kawanishi's shoulders, his fingers tightening with a firm grace, curling around a curve of arm muscle.

Kawanishi's breath whipped out of him like a softly drizzling storm, pattering quiet and subtle in his chest. Ushijima's mouth slid against him, pressing and pausing in nudges, accidentally open-mouthed at one point. Heaviness slowed Kawanishi from kissing further, like he was _too_ occupied in it, and his face turned hot. The feeling of Ushijima's steady hand on his back, too, was something he could occupy, weighing him down rooted to the ground.

They pulled away, and Ushijima's arms returned to his side.

"That was a little sudden. Sorry," Kawanishi said.

"I didn't think so. I enjoyed it, Kawanishi," Ushijima said, still deep and warm from the kiss, his voice reaching the pooled depth of a lake. It reflected in his eyes too, and Kawanishi's stomach twisted in a melting drop.

Kawanishi fidgeted his hands together. "I did too. I'm. I'll, I'll see you tomorrow." Kawanishi turned to walk away, and he opened the door to the dorm building, Ushijima following him in.

 

* * *

 

Ushijima leaned closer to Kawanishi. "You've really been coughing and sniffling today."

"My allergies are just worse today," Kawanishi said, his voice crackling, rough and hoarse.

"When did it start feeling worse?"

"The past hour." Kawanishi ducked a little to Ushijima, going quieter when he remembered last night.

"I think you're truly getting sick."

"No I'm not." Kawanishi tried to swallow, and he had to struggle to swallow past the dryness in his throat.

Ushijima looked at him, his slight head tilt bringing out the angle of his eyes. "You shouldn't go to practice tomorrow night if you're sick."

Kawanishi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. I'll go home."

Ushijima's tilt deepened. "You're not moving."

Kawanishi grumbled and started walking. Ushijima followed. "I'll make you some soup before I leave."

"Please don't," Kawanishi said as they left the gym building and stepped outside.

Ushijima arrived at his room half an hour later with a surgical mask and a bowl of soup. Kawanishi slid down his desk chair.

"You didn't have to."

"Doesn't your throat hurt?"

"A little."

"I can hear your voice. It sounds scratchy."

Kawanishi's mouth shifted with his crumbling concentration. "I'll take the soup."

Ushijima stepped forward and placed it carefully on his desk next to his notebooks. He deposited the mask beside it.

"I have my own supplies, you know."

"I didn't doubt you." Ushijima bent a little, resting his hands and lowering until he was only slightly above Kawanishi's height. He kissed his hair, brushing his mouth in a gentle movement and finishing with a small kissing noise. Kawanishi's eyes squeezed in a halfway shut embarrassed cringe.

"Let me at least put the mask on," he mumbled.

**Author's Note:**

> (General A/N that exists at the end of all my fics): I find unsolicited concrit really rude, I'm not looking for any. Please don't tell me someone was OOC/something happened you didn't like/it's too short/etc. in any bookmarks or comments.


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